John Tanner is some guy who looks to be in his late 40's and works for the Miami P.D.

What he does in the story is pretty boring actually, and too long. So just to summarize it the best I can, he chases a gang that wants sell all of these grotesque cars across Europe and then they end up in Istanbul and then they have a shootout and then Tanner fucking shoots Jericho but then he retaliates. He and Jericho soon end up in a hospital but Tanner's heart stops so they have to rape him in order to bring him back to life. Not much, you know?

Tanner is an absolute madman. It even says so in the instruction manual. You can even tell by how he looks and how he has no charisma. He mercilessly kills people he is told to arrest, and he even kills the police in Istanbul when they were chasing him because they thought he killed some French guy named Dubois.

Tanner has absolutely no feats. He can't run more than 1 mph, barely jumps 1 micrometer off the ground, and gets servere cramps when he crouches. He is so fucking delicate that he even gets badly injured if the car he is driving has a bumper that's hanging and it hits something as small as a curb (they are ridiculously small in this game, I don't know why). This all has something to do with his age, considering how he looks to be in his fucking late 40's, or the fucked up physics of this game.

Quotes Edit




Seriously, this is all he says when you play as him. Want to hear him speak in full sentences? Go watch the cutscenes you lazy asshat.

Trivia Edit

  • He is gay